Dating Daycare
Welcome to "Dating Daycare," the ultimate safe space for women navigating the unpredictable world of modern dating. Join hosts Melissa Firpo and Allison Waterman as they dish out candid advice, share hilarious anecdotes, and tackle the toughest dating dilemmas faced by women today.
In a dating landscape filled with frogs disguised as princes and a jungle of jerks, Melissa and Allison offer a nurturing haven where women can laugh, learn, and empower each other to find love on their own terms. From ghosting to breadcrumbing, from disastrous first dates to navigating online profiles, "Dating Daycare" covers it all with wit, wisdom, and plenty of wine.
With Melissa's no-nonsense approach and Allison's comedic charm, each episode feels like a heart-to-heart chat with your best girlfriends over brunch. Whether you're swiping left or swiping right, "Dating Daycare" is your go-to guide for surviving and thriving in the wild world of modern romance.
So grab your favorite beverage, kick back, and join Melissa and Allison as they navigate the highs, lows, and hilarities of dating life. Because when it comes to matters of the heart, everyone could use a little TLC from "Dating Daycare.
Dating Daycare
FISH BOWL: How soon is too soon to go exclusive? - The Early Romance Conundrum
How soon is too soon to go exclusive? This fishbowl episode of Dating Daycare throws you into the heart of a dating conundrum that is as relatable as it is eye-opening. Melissa and Allison dissect a listener's tangled relationship, where a month-long romance is already brimming with boundary-crossing behavior, including kisses with past flings and hangouts with former crushes. If you've ever wondered when it's the right time to put a label on a relationship or how to ensure your boundaries are respected, this episode promises to make you rethink your dating strategies and safeguard your heart from unnecessary drama.
Join us as we serve up candid advice on maintaining your self-worth and sanity amidst the chaos of new relationships. We'll highlight the importance of setting clear boundaries from the get-go, ensuring your expectations and values align before exclusivity comes into play. Our discussion is packed with real-talk wisdom on how to protect yourself from heartbreak and avoid the pitfalls of rushing into commitment without truly knowing your partner. Get ready for a humorous yet insightful exploration of the early dating stage, and discover how to steer your love life in a healthier direction.
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Welcome to Dating Daycare, where we help you navigate through the jungle of jerks, I'm Melissa, I'm Allison and today, you lucky viewers, we are going to do another famous fishbowl episode. So Allison is going to pick this week. Maybe we'll get through one or two. We'll see Real questions, in case you're just catching on to our fabulous podcast. Real questions from you, the viewers, from social media, anonymous. We read them out, we help you out. All right, dig deep, allison. Dig deep. She didn't dig that deep. Okay, what do you?
Speaker 2:got for me. Okay, well, okay, y'all tell me if I'm being dramatic, all right, I recently became exclusive with someone. It's only been a month, but in that one time frame he kissed a girl he was messing with. On day four he said it was routine and on accident. Next he keeps hanging out with a girl he had a crush on a month ago but claims it's okay because it's his girl, best friend, cousin, what. And then today, so his best friend's cousin, okay. And then today he went alone to a girl's house, a girl he fucked a year while she napped on a separate sofa so he can charge his phone. I told him I was done being exclusive. He says I'm being crazy. What do you all think? Wow?
Speaker 1:Okay, so this is a long one. Okay, so we just had an episode about boundaries. Okay, ladies, and obviously this, I'm going to assume this is one of our younger viewers, because there are a lot of boundaries being broken here. There's cheating, I would say, number one.
Speaker 2:Why are you being exclusive with someone? So it's not clear to me if she's just been with him a month and then decided to be exclusive. But if that's the case, like you should not be exclusive with someone after a month, like how do you know them? How have you vetted them?
Speaker 1:Okay, yes. So she's saying I recently became exclusive with somebody. It Okay, yes. So she's saying I recently became exclusive with somebody. It's only been a month that she's been dating him and already in this month he's kissed a girl that he was messing with. On day four of her dating him, he already kissed a girl. He said it was a routine accident, no big deal, routine accident. So he's just so used to kissing this girl. It's like brushing his teeth. It's become routine and that he keeps hanging out with the girl he had a crush on before he met her. So a month or two ago, I guess, he had a crush on a girl. He keeps hanging out with her and he claims it's okay because it's his best friend's cousin.
Speaker 2:So my question is what is she getting out of this? What is positive about this Right?
Speaker 1:So, obviously, for this dynamic, a month is way too soon to become exclusive, with showing all these red flags and having all these girls that he had a crush on around cousin's best friend that he had a crush on around cousin's best friend that he had a crush on. And then today, uh, he went alone into a girl's house, a girl that he slept with a year ago. Yeah, but it doesn't matter what girl's house, I mean when, and here's the thing. This is, this is what I have to say to her.
Speaker 1:I'd love to talk to her when you first start going out with a guy, let's say whenever. That is now. Ladies, you know what I always say and if you're just tuning in, this piece of advice will save you from a lot of heartache you don't start sleeping with a man until you become exclusive. So that leaves out all the ghosting and all those other problems at hand. Even these problems.
Speaker 2:Yeah, even so, the whole like exclusivity thing. A lot of people get confused between the definition of exclusivity because I think everyone else, everyone's definition of that word is a bit different really I think it's the same.
Speaker 1:No, a lot of you shouldn't be fucking anybody else. For a lot of guys it seems that they.
Speaker 2:what it means is um, for right now I just want to lock you down so you're not going to go be with other guys and explore other options. I'm just going to, at this very moment, just have sex with you, but I'm also going to explore my other options so I can let you go when I find something better. What you should be looking for, I believe, is boyfriend-girlfriend title. You're in an official relationship.
Speaker 1:But to me that's what. When I say to somebody do you, you know, I'm 47 years old.
Speaker 2:I don't say do you want to?
Speaker 1:I mean, I have two kids and I've been married, as we've been over, I don't say you want to be my boyfriend? I say are we exclusive?
Speaker 2:I know, and that this is just a side note. People, just a little piece, a little piece of caution. Right okay, because it's a thing, unfortunately.
Speaker 1:And you should not become exclusive with somebody until you have seen their best behavior. I mean, this guy has been showing you poor behavior and you decided to become exclusive with him for a month. Why? And you decided to become exclusive with him for a month? Why? And when a man decides to become exclusive with you, which, in my idea, depending on age, give or take, should be within the three-month range, that's?
Speaker 2:fair. Okay, I don't think this is something that's set in stone necessarily, but I just feel in general, four weeks is just a bit premature.
Speaker 1:Premature stone, necessarily, but I just feel in general, four weeks is just a bit premature, premature the best behavior it should be. Let's say, you marry this guy five, six years down the road you should be thinking of that first few months being the best it ever was this is when it's only downhill from here, right he's supposed to be surprising you. I mean taking you out to dinner planning dates. Um, listening to what you said, the over other girls, houses and and see and kissing and accidentally routine accident.
Speaker 1:he does this insanity, so you have no business getting involved with a man that's already treating you like this. As Allison said, it's downhill from there. Let's do another. Sorry, sweetie, allison didn't dig deep enough. Ladies, I'm digging deep.
Speaker 2:Use those claws, I'm using those claws.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, day one is the best day.
Speaker 2:Well, day four, he was already on Right.
Speaker 1:Right, I mean, is the best day Well, day four, he was already on Right. Right, I mean, I can't.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Shouldn't even be with somebody like that. Okay, looking for advice on how to ask my husband to share his location on his phone with me. Backstory he has had an affair. Well, he likes to pay for services. Oy, these are the worst kind. And I found out very early in our marriage. He says he stopped and I have tried to forgive. But I feel I could get over it more if I saw his location and wasn't panic stricken on where he was all the time. Also, I know if I ask that he will become very defensive and just say no. So I'm looking for ways to ask without just flat out telling him it's because I don't trust him.
Speaker 1:Oh, there's a lot to go over here. Okay, so first, he's had an affair and he likes to pay for services. So let's say that this is, you know, hookers, or even, if it's that, what's that web page? Only fans that's included here and he got caught. Okay, and he started this at the beginning. We don't know how long she's been married to him, but he's been doing this. We full well know he was doing this before they were married. She said that she found out at the beginning of the marriage. But this isn't something that just miraculously, ladies starts because he walked down an aisle and signed a piece of paper. Okay, this has been embedded in this man for a very long time. Here's what I have to say, allison, in case you're wondering.
Speaker 1:In case you're wondering In case you're wondering when this man got caught by you and you forgave him, which you must be an angel on this earth, because I would have never forgave him and I would have been down the divorce.
Speaker 2:You should have negotiated your terms, new terms and conditions at that point If you wanted to go there.
Speaker 1:Okay, but even if she did, even if she did, he should be more than willing To give you his phone. This should not even be After he got caught doing this and he is the guilty one and you two obviously Discuss that you are going to Stay together and he is going guilty one and you two obviously discuss that you are going to stay together and he's going to try and redeem himself in this relationship and marriage. He should be doing everything and anything to make you feel comfortable and secure and that he has stopped doing these affairs. Now. If that's looking at his phone, if that's putting a tracker on his car, if that's calling him, uh, whenever you feel like it to check up on him, and he has to pick up the phone, whatever some way to live.
Speaker 2:could you imagine living in this? Okay, but yeah, no, and I understand way to live. Could you imagine living in this? Okay, but no.
Speaker 1:And I understand that. But guess what? Also, you should be in marriage counseling. That should be a given. There should be no if, ends or buts about that. But if all these things were done, I would imagine I'll never know, because I will never give a man that opportunity. But I would imagine after certain things were proven, the trust does come back. I do have girlfriends that have stayed with a man that was one time had an affair and they worked through it, through therapy and and different things, and have have been very successful. So but but there were things the man had to do in the beginning to make you feel like you would. He would never do it again, to prove himself. So to say, that has to be done. The trust has to be earned back. It's not just given back because you decide to stay.
Speaker 2:It's almost like you're starting from day one again.
Speaker 1:Worse, because day one you weren't having an affair. Imagine starting a relationship with a man where he's already cheated you. That was this one that we just went through right before. That was this where she started becoming exclusive with him and he's already cheated on her with a week. You could fully see that doesn't work. So this man should be earning back his trust. Now the sad thing is I'm looking for ways to ask without flat out telling him, because I don't trust him and I know he's going to say no. Why is he saying no? Why can't you look through this man's phone? Let me tell you something At any point or given time, any man I'm dating, that I'm dating, can full well look through my phone. You look through my entire phone. You look on my social media, you can look anywhere, because I'm not doing anything shady and everything I'm doing.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you what I mean, that tells you all you need to know, right, the fact that you're just, you don't trust him. There's a reason why you don't trust him. I mean, you have to listen to that, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1:So there is no way for this for this anonymous person. Sweetheart, there is no way to walk around the mulberry bush, and you know, ask him without asking to see his phone. This is what you should be saying to him. You cheated on me who knows how many times. You state more than once, for how many years. Right, I want to see your phone. If you want me to stay in this marriage, I want to be able to see your phone to make me feel secure, since you've cheated for years Done. And if he says no and gets angry, it means he's still doing it.
Speaker 2:Unfortunately there are better men out there. I know it's hard to disentangle yourself from this and legally, and all that right, no, absolute headache but um, yeah, this is not it no, it's definitely not it.
Speaker 1:And what a way to live, yeah, and, and here's the thing, you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, because unless he does these things, such as lets you see his phone, uh, track him, you know, call to make you feel secure, you're never going to trust him again.
Speaker 1:So you're going to be in the state of panic, of fight or flight perpetually, because he's going to start blaming it on you and saying oh, you're crazy. You know I'm not cheating on you and you know you just want to see my phone and keep tabs on it. It should be no problem. It should be absolutely no problem.
Speaker 2:She can offer up her phone and all that kind of thing. Right, absolutely.
Speaker 1:So, ladies, that is our fishbowl for the day and our words of wisdom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so please write to us at datingdaycare podcast at gmail um give us your questions. Yeah, we'll give you our answer.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. We'll do them anonymously, like we always do. But if you have a question that you uh need help with and want to ask, or you could come to our facebook group dating daycare on facebook request.
Speaker 2:We will let you in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we'll let you in and you can write your questions there, all right, thank you. Thank you and have a nice week. Oh, and if you have any Dick of the Weeks, let us know. We'd love to hear Dick of the Weeks stories.
Speaker 2:It's been a while. It's been a while. We know there are plenty of dogs out there. Oh yeah, they're out there.
Speaker 1:They're out there, ladies. All right, we will see you soon and thank you for watching our podcast. We appreciate it. Thank you, bye.
Speaker 2:Bye.
