Dating Daycare
Welcome to "Dating Daycare," the ultimate safe space for women navigating the unpredictable world of modern dating. Join hosts Melissa Firpo and Allison Waterman as they dish out candid advice, share hilarious anecdotes, and tackle the toughest dating dilemmas faced by women today.
In a dating landscape filled with frogs disguised as princes and a jungle of jerks, Melissa and Allison offer a nurturing haven where women can laugh, learn, and empower each other to find love on their own terms. From ghosting to breadcrumbing, from disastrous first dates to navigating online profiles, "Dating Daycare" covers it all with wit, wisdom, and plenty of wine.
With Melissa's no-nonsense approach and Allison's comedic charm, each episode feels like a heart-to-heart chat with your best girlfriends over brunch. Whether you're swiping left or swiping right, "Dating Daycare" is your go-to guide for surviving and thriving in the wild world of modern romance.
So grab your favorite beverage, kick back, and join Melissa and Allison as they navigate the highs, lows, and hilarities of dating life. Because when it comes to matters of the heart, everyone could use a little TLC from "Dating Daycare.
Dating Daycare
D!@K OF THE WEEK! - Co-Parenting Chaos During The Holidays.
What happens when your ex suddenly decides to rewrite the Christmas playbook without consulting you? It’s a holiday tale you won’t soon forget, filled with unilateral decisions and a dash of chaos. Join us as we recount an unexpected twist in co-parenting that left us scrambling to keep the holiday spirit alive for the kids. Our host opens up about the jaw-dropping moment she discovered her children’s father had opted out of their traditional holiday routine, leaving her to pick up the pieces in a pinch. With each revelation, the story resonates with anyone who’s ever faced similar challenges in the realm of co-parenting.
This episode of Dating Daycare promises a candid exploration of the emotional rollercoaster that comes with managing an uncooperative ex. From the scramble to maintain long-standing holiday traditions to the stress of solo gift shopping, our host shares not only the frustrations but also the comedic moments that arise when dealing with a dad who's all about shifting responsibilities. Whether you're in the trenches of a complicated co-parenting situation or just love a good story filled with humor and heart, this episode delivers both insight and entertainment. Grab your drink of choice and get ready to chuckle at the chaos.
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Welcome to Dating Daycare, where we help you navigate through the jungle of jerks ladies and welcome back to our show. Grab some wine, vodka, chardonnay, whatever you drink Now, polish remover and a snack A snackity snack and join us for Dick of the Week.
Speaker 2:Dick of the Week. I think you have a contender.
Speaker 1:I always have a contender, ladies and who?
Speaker 2:might this gentleman be? Oh, my ex, of course.
Speaker 1:Baby daddy.
Speaker 2:But of course.
Speaker 1:Right, can't get dickier than him. Okay, so you ready for my dick of the week, I'm ready.
Speaker 1:This is such a good one. Okay, ladies, you're gonna love this shit, alright. So Christmas, right, I have young kids girl and a boy. So I've been separated. I think it's like four years now, right, we've been through this, never married, lived together eight, nine years, whatever, separated about four. Now we have a tradition He'll buy the Christmas gifts for my son, I'll buy the Christmas gifts for my daughter. You know Santa, right, he'll wrap and bring over all my son's gifts Christmas Eve, drop them off, put them all up, put the daughters under the tree. They wake up in the morning. He comes, they open their gifts, right, I always make a breakfast, they play, he stayed, does what he wants and then leaves. Right, Everybody's happy. So it's like November, the end of November, my son comes home. So it's like November, the end of November, my son comes home and he's like hey, ma, you know Dad's not coming for Christmas. I go, what?
Speaker 2:He made a unilateral decision.
Speaker 1:Oh, so, without discussing it with me no co-parenting. Now, mind you, my daughter hasn't gone to his apartment or slept over in four years. They're not besties, they're not besties, right. So I say really to my son I go, let me text dad, text him. He goes yeah, I'm not coming this year. I go, when were you going to tell me, because now are there going to be any gifts for my son?
Speaker 2:no, no, santa just forgot him this year, right right.
Speaker 1:So now this is what's going through my mind, so I go. Okay, you discuss this with nobody not the kids, not me. He just made the decision on his own. He goes, yeah, he goes. I'll get like two or three gifts from the both of us and drop them off for our son, he goes everything else is going to be at my house.
Speaker 1:So wait a minute. So Now the precedent, right? What they're used to for their entire lives at my house is a certain amount of gifts, right? So now I'm like not only do I have to buy for my daughter the 25, 30 gifts, now I'm responsible for buying for my son. Now, wait a minute. If there were only five gifts at his house, no one would care, because there's never been gifts at his house, right? So now I start thinking of this and I'm like, oh my God, it's less than a month before Christmas, like panic mode.
Speaker 2:What was he going to tell your son? Like I'm sorry you know the economy is bad, santa had a hard time.
Speaker 1:No, he just said that's your fucking problem. Now that's not my problem that there's not going to be any gifts for your house. Go out and buy double the amount of gifts. That's a you problem, not a me problem no venmo oh no, no, no, no, because now he's gonna buy gifts at his house for both kids.
Speaker 2:This is the new thing, so wait that doesn't go to his, the daughter that doesn't go to his house.
Speaker 1:The daughter that doesn't go to his house. Now I tell the kids this and my daughter's like I'm not going there, I haven't been there. What do you mean? Like she calls him Dad, please can't you just come to the house, open up the gifts here? I suggest to him to make our daughter happy and comfortable, I'll leave the house. You know, after like like maybe he wants to bring the gifts at a separate time before I'm trying to like navigate the situation right giving a ton of different options for him to do because she wants the gifts, to open the gifts at her house which
Speaker 1:she's always done her whole life. Absolutely not. Wait a minute, it gets better. It gets better. God, it gets better. So Christmas comes, she's not comfortable going there. My son goes, he gets all his gifts, comes home with a little bag of gifts Christmas Eve for her, she opens, but the rest majority of her gifts are left at his house in hopes that, after four years and no change in their relationship, that she's going to miraculously go to his house for these gifts, almost like a bribe. Do you know what I'm trying to say? I'll give you this Chanel bag if you suck my dick.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying this is what you're setting this kid up for, right Conditions on gifts, not good, wait. So now it's what? January 27th, almost a month after. Where do you think those gifts are? They're still there. Oh, so wait a minute, dick of the month, I'm confused. So, and the gifts that he gave her, I think, were from Santa. So he's not holding Santa's gifts ransom. But, daddy, yeah, he's holding the gifts that he got her for ransom.
Speaker 2:If you want Daddy's gifts, you have to come to Daddy's house.
Speaker 1:But she's like I'm not comfortable going to his house. I don't want to go to his house. So he's been piecemealing these gifts out. Drop our son off, he'll give her a gift. He gave her her stocking last week, so wait. So can you imagine the precedent that he's teaching? Her, yeah, it's not good and and you don't give gifts with conditions.
Speaker 1:Right, when I buy you a gift, do I say allison if you don't come to my house to get the gift, I'm not gonna give it to you. When you tell me I'm not comfortable going to your house. Or do I tell you you know you're not going to get the gift unless you buy me something in return? I mean, you don't give gifts on condition. You buy gifts because you want to buy gifts for somebody. But this poor kid, now, at 10 years old, she's learned uh some hard lesson, right yeah?
Speaker 1:like your father, or does not give you gifts based out of you know, because he wants to. They're conditional, so I don't know if she's ever going to get the gifts. They're still there, tack on another two years of therapy, wait, wait, right tack on another with the trauma therapist for my daughter. But wait a minute. Do you think he's going to keep the gifts and give it to her in April for her birthday? Like what are we?
Speaker 2:doing with these gifts? Yeah, with the Christmas paper on it. Yeah, are you going to?
Speaker 1:re-wrap the gifts.
Speaker 2:Are you going to return the gifts?
Speaker 1:Like there's a few different options here. Do you imagine and and you know what kills me every time this is the man that? Right? Your father, your father is supposed to emulate the man, the top dog? Right, you're supposed to look up to your dad and you're supposed to say that's the type of man I want to marry.
Speaker 2:That kind of treatment is what I want.
Speaker 1:Right, that's the kind, and this is what I have to deal with on a weekly basis.
Speaker 2:Dig of the week. Yeah, Right Just reminded you of why you separated Correct Correct. You did a good job of that, thank you.
Speaker 1:But I will keep you all posted because I'm sure all you ladies are going to want to know when and if my daughter ever gets these Christmas presents Like I said, it's a month later already.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm curious how this will play out, and I'm a little sad that I haven't had many dicks lately.
Speaker 1:That's okay, I got a full stockpile with my ex. I could go on each week. But I got a full stockpile with my ex. I could go on each week. But that is Dick of the Christmas Week month. Good job, baby daddy.
Speaker 2:Good job, Twice. He's been Dick of the Week. What do you mean? In the past he has been Dick of the Week, he's the first two-time winner.
Speaker 1:I try to give grace. I could go on every week and tell a story, All right. Hopefully no more. I leave some room for you.
Speaker 2:Allison.
Speaker 1:We got to leave some room for you for Tick of the Week it can't just be me.
Speaker 2:Have to get back on the apps.
Speaker 1:And you know what the crazy thing is Is that there's probably going to be some and they'll be like oh she's man bashing, Look at this, it's always her exit dick of the week. Here's the problem, gentlemen. I never let a man get that far ever again. Like my radar is so up that if I see half a dick of the week, you're out, Like you're out. So the only dick of the week I'm ever going to probably have it's a quick, because I don't online date. So you could be a dick in person, but people usually aren't when they're buying you a drink and they want to get a date right.
Speaker 2:I find a lot of people have issues with texting, even if they have good intentions. They just have no idea of how to text someone appropriately. They would say things via text that they would never say yeah, oh, yeah Right, there's still hope.
Speaker 1:There's still hope Right, but it's very rare that I get another dick of the week because I don't know you long enough ever again to be a dick to me. So no, I hear you. And I have plenty with my ex. I mean, who wants to stockpile on the dick of the weeks?
Speaker 2:you know Anyhow that is our what. You know what I think? I think that women should send screenshots of their dicks of the week to us, please, ladies.
Speaker 1:Oh, we love this, we love this.
Speaker 2:It's like when you show your girlfriends. You know, look what this asshole sent me. Or tell us, write us.
Speaker 1:Tell us your dick of the week. Yes, please do. Yep, we tell us your dick of the week. Yes, please do. We might be on air. You can write us datingdaycarepodcast at gmailcom. It's all listed in the show notes. Just take a look and you know what I think. I think we're going to launch soon on YouTube too. Oh, exciting.
Speaker 2:I know it's exciting. We're going to let you know 2025 2025 launch All right, all right, ladies.
Speaker 1:We hope you enjoyed Dick of the Week. Dick of the Week, my fabulous ex. We will keep you posted, ladies, and let us know your Dicks of the Week, and we will see you soon. Bye.
