Dating Daycare
Welcome to "Dating Daycare," the ultimate safe space for women navigating the unpredictable world of modern dating. Join hosts Melissa Firpo and Allison Waterman as they dish out candid advice, share hilarious anecdotes, and tackle the toughest dating dilemmas faced by women today.
In a dating landscape filled with frogs disguised as princes and a jungle of jerks, Melissa and Allison offer a nurturing haven where women can laugh, learn, and empower each other to find love on their own terms. From ghosting to breadcrumbing, from disastrous first dates to navigating online profiles, "Dating Daycare" covers it all with wit, wisdom, and plenty of wine.
With Melissa's no-nonsense approach and Allison's comedic charm, each episode feels like a heart-to-heart chat with your best girlfriends over brunch. Whether you're swiping left or swiping right, "Dating Daycare" is your go-to guide for surviving and thriving in the wild world of modern romance.
So grab your favorite beverage, kick back, and join Melissa and Allison as they navigate the highs, lows, and hilarities of dating life. Because when it comes to matters of the heart, everyone could use a little TLC from "Dating Daycare.
Dating Daycare
F'n Fish Bowl of REAL CRAZY DATING STORIES - "when trust starts to wane in a marriage"
What happens when trust starts to wane in a marriage seemingly bound by love and family? We're tackling this tough issue head-on as we explore a listener's story about dealing with a secretive spouse amidst the joys and pressures of expecting their fourth child. With a focus on trust, communication, and the emotional complexities of family life, we'll discuss why setting personal boundaries is crucial now more than ever. This episode also touches on the financial realities of expanding a family and why it's vital to support the children you bring into this world, both emotionally and financially. Join us as we unpack the layers of maintaining self-esteem and openness in relationships that are supposed to be built on transparency.
Ever felt judged for your fashion choices? You're not alone. Our next tale revolves around a listener who finds herself mocked by her partner for wearing an orange pumpkin sweater. We dive into why such criticism might be more about the critic's insecurities than the outfit itself and why staying true to oneself is non-negotiable. Everyone deserves a partner who cherishes them, quirks and all, and if your significant other continually puts you down, it might be time to reassess if they truly embrace you for who you are. With a mix of empathy and practical advice, we aim to guide you on how to handle undue negativity while celebrating your unique sense of style.
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Welcome to Dating. Daycare where we help you navigate through the jungle of jerks ladies, and it is 2025. Yeah, I know how is everybody doing for 2025? We just started hopefully well, and if not, we're going to help you get through it, because that's what we're here to do. We are here to help you navigate through all your dating woes of 2025. And God knows there's going to be quite a lot of them.
Speaker 2:We have a bowl full of issues.
Speaker 1:Full of issues. Today we're doing a fishbowl, so you?
Speaker 2:yeah, we scour the internet and find women with different.
Speaker 1:Questions.
Speaker 2:Scenarios, Scenarios questions, dilemmas.
Speaker 1:We put it in a fishbowl, so these are real questions from real women like yourself, and we're here to help you answer them. I print them out anonymously, throw them in the fishbowl and we go for it, you still have a printer at home? I do. How else are you supposed to print it out?
Speaker 2:I don't own a printer. Do you know how much?
Speaker 1:that's because Allison has no children. If you had all these science projects and book reports and all this stuff and pictures you gotta glue on and I'm a chef too. Do you know how many recipes like if, if it's like a regular recipe, like I have a muffin based recipe that I follow for all my muffin, all right. Anyway, getting back ladies. Okay, I need a printer. I don't know about you out there, but I need a printer. Okay, allison, you're up, I'm gonna let you go first for 2025.
Speaker 1:Thank you, you go first, dig deep, yeah, deep let's see I got.
Speaker 2:Let's see what I got here, all right, let's hear it. Okay, this is a bad mom. Um hi, ladies, I really need some advice because I feel like I'm going crazy if I don't find out. Yes, I already feel, I know, I feel like I know, but I'm trying to really trust my spouse, even if it makes me look crazy. Oh boy, me and my husband have been together for four years. I'm currently pregnant with our fourth child.
Speaker 1:Ooh, they're busy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and he said he's wanted some space which is fine.
Speaker 2:Is that fine, really Okay? Here lately he's been super sneaky with his phone, like he will literally lay it on so I can't lay on it, so I can't grab it. That's crazy. I don't usually check his phone. He changed his password to where I can't get it, but yet he can get into mine anytime he wants, which is fine with me. He's just been acting so distant lately and he says he's trying to be nice so I can get used to us not being together, but I also. I just feel like he's cheating, but I have no proof. Has anyone's husband or spouse acted this way and they weren't cheating? I just really need advice as to what to do. Also, he says he's not talking to anyone else. I've, I've done asked, I've done asked, uh, but he won't let me see his phone at all. Um, yeah, I don't like this. There's a lot that I don't like. I mean, if you're boyfriend and girlfriend and you, you need time apart, but they're not. They're, they're married, so you have a contract here.
Speaker 1:But wait, what really disturbed me first and we talk about this all the time what caught me? I just need reference. See, thank God it's printed All right. So what really caught me here is when she said I'm trying to really trust my spouse, even if it makes me look crazy. Right there told me that her self-esteem and her boundaries on what she will accept and won't accept for herself were very low. Because if anybody, if you're willing to accept something that somebody's doing to you that you don't like, even if it makes you look crazy, that's never a good thing. Most people sort of defend themselves so they don't look crazy, even if they are crazy. This one's saying he makes me look crazy and I'm willing to accept that if he's just not cheating.
Speaker 2:So that's the first thing, and also what I get from that is that cognitively she understands that all these things that are going on don't add up yeah. So if, like she, were looking at a friend in this situation, she would be like yeah, no, and for kids in four years, we're going to go back to what my grandmother said ladies, what's that?
Speaker 1:Only have as many children as you can financially take care of yourself. Yeah, right, so that's why you're an only child? Well, yeah, and that's why I only have two, because, as I am, I can financially take care. I am confident I can take care of them efficiently. Yeah, I am confident I can take care of them efficiently. Four kids, that and see.
Speaker 1:Sorry, ladies, but when you have four kids and you're thinking that your husband is cheating on you he's super sneaky. You're not allowed to look at his phone. Listen, the only reason you're not allowed to look at somebody's phone is because there's something there they don't want you to see. Yeah, done, yeah, done, okay, there's no, anybody could look at my phone, anybody. You know. Whenever somebody won't let you look at something or see something, it's because they're guilty of something. That right. There is another red flag and the fact that he's like I want you to get used to us, I need time apart. You're married and you need time apart. Guess what? The day you got married is the day you gave that privilege up. You get some time apart. There is no time apart. If you want time apart, you should have stayed single and not got married.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Right. Next, he said that he wants her to get used to being apart. He doesn't want to be with you. Unfortunately and you know what that's really scary. When you're home, we don't know her working situation or her financial situation, but when you have four kids, that's real and she's pregnant. Did she say with her fourth?
Speaker 2:Yeah, pregnant with her fourth.
Speaker 1:So three kids and pregnant with your fourth. Unfortunately for us women and that's why I preach this all the time and I tell my daughter all the time the thought of depending on a man is always very nice, but then, when the ax comes down one day if it ever comes down the fear sets in.
Speaker 2:And I don't think the fear is worth the. That shouldn't be what's keeping you together.
Speaker 1:But with three kids, she's got to get her shit together. She has no job. She's a stay-at-home mom. She's got to get a job and then, after she gets a job, she's got to start saving her money until she leaves this man. Otherwise she's going to be with three kids pregnant. He's going to throw her out of the house. I mean, who?
Speaker 2:knows. I would love to. I'm sure by now she already has had the kid. She has an infant. I'd love to follow up with these people and see what.
Speaker 1:Well, she's gonna stay. This woman, just like many women and I get it are gonna stay and if they never become financially independent, as we see, all the time they end up staying. Look at the trauma therapist we had. But our advice here is this is my advice to this woman he doesn't like you, whether he's cheating or not. No it, it really doesn't matter. Listen, I've been with plenty. My ex does not like me. He does not like me. He never cheated on me, but as a human being he does not like me. You shouldn't be with people that don't like you. Somebody doesn't have to do somebody horrific to give you the right to leave.
Speaker 2:Doesn't like her, but sure has no problem impregnating her.
Speaker 1:No, but that's her problem. But she, you know they both got into that position. So my advice to her is he doesn't like you, he doesn't respect you. He's telling you he wants time apart from you. You need to have the baby.
Speaker 1:Get a job, save your money If you don't have anybody that can allow you make a plan and you need to leave, because the more you stay and he sees that you're financially dependent on him, the more he's going to abuse you and take advantage, because he knows you won't leave All right. On to the next, on to the next, on to the next.
Speaker 2:Oh it's a long one.
Speaker 1:I really need to know why my boyfriend does this. We went to Walmart on Saturday and I sent oh and I seen a sweater that was orange with a pumpkin on it. Halloween is my favorite holiday. He told me it was ugly, but I bought it anyways. So later that day I put it on and he said this is so ugly. I said I don't care. He said well, you have a pumpkin head, so he always makes fun of my head, but I don't care. Other people in the past said it as well. So she has a big head, all right, so I don't take it personally.
Speaker 1:Now he has said in the past that my green sweater was so ugly. The ring I picked out he bought me said it was ugly, and the shoes I picked out but bought for me Mother's Day was ugly as hell. Why does he keep putting me down about my clothes? We have different styles and I never once put him down on what he wears. I know he is so insecure, but I don't know why he does this. Does this make him feel better about himself?
Speaker 2:Yes, this is. If she didn't say that, talk about the insecurity I was going to it's projection. And also, I just have to preface this whole thing by saying, as a member of the massive cranium club, I take high offense at him making fun of the size of her head. But yeah, don't you think that he this is like stemming from low self-esteem and by putting other people he's making himself feel better?
Speaker 1:I get it, but you know what I want to address. I agree with you, but this is what I want to address, ladies, and I keep saying this, and I'm going to keep saying this, I'm going to sound like a broken record. There doesn't have to be this like huge psychological reason why somebody just doesn't like you. He just does not like. He may he don't like the way you dress, which means he doesn't like the way you look on a daily basis, and then isn't attracted to you.
Speaker 1:I can't look at a man personally that's dressed a certain way. That's not my. I mean, listen, my style is very broad. I could look at a biker, I could look at a preppy guy with a polo. I mean I got a broad spectrum going on, right. But if there's a certain guy that's dressed a way that I don't like, it makes me not attracted to him, like I would let and be like oh my God, look at that, just as a man would do with me, you know. So there doesn't need to be a reason. The fact of the matter is he's making fun of you all the time, making fun of your head, making fun of the clothes you wear. Why do we need? A man is supposed to be like. Oh my God, alison, you look beautiful today.
Speaker 1:That's such a nice skirt always.
Speaker 2:I always look beautiful, but this, but that's, that's half your job as a man yeah, to tell the woman that you like that they're beautiful, that they but my spidey senses are telling me that this a guy who acts like this will act like this with any woman. He's I'm I'm not saying it's her.
Speaker 1:Right. I'm just saying that he's not treating you right, dump him. I keep telling you this, ladies. Dump him. Like and here's another thing, and I think we've discussed this before Don't change. A lot of women in this situation would say alright, I won't wear the green sweater, alright, I won't wear the pumpkin sweater. And you know what? My ex we discussed this my ex tried to do that to me. He's like really Melissa the nails, really Melissa the, you know the, the hair, your your big boot. And I'm like, yeah, move to the left.
Speaker 2:Like I was like this the day you met me.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be like this, you know, until I decide to change or the day I die. And if you don't like it, that's cool. You could go find what you like.
Speaker 2:There are a lot of women who will twist themselves into pretzels to suit a guy I'll never forget. This was my first job at Bath and Body Works.
Speaker 1:My daughter loves Bath and Body.
Speaker 2:And I remember selling whatever body lotion or body spray to this woman. She's like oh yeah, I like that, but my boyfriend doesn't, so I'm not going to buy it. And I just, you know my teenage self didn't understand why a grown woman wouldn't buy what she likes.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. Ladies, don't let anybody try and change you. You like the pumpkin sweater or the ugly Christmas sweater? You go ahead and wear it, and you know what. Your significant other could either deal with looking at the ugly pumpkin sweater if he thinks it's ugly, or he can move on to a girl that would never wear a pumpkin sweater his choice. But you don't need to hear the, the aftermath, the lashing, the putting you down. What are you wearing? Why are you wearing I'd love? Just for shits and giggles.
Speaker 1:I'd love to see a picture of this guy, but it doesn't even matter, but I know it doesn't even matter what he looks like but I'm just curious, doesn't even matter, like I always say when I tried to get back with my ex and I still have the list there was 35 things. He wanted me to change 35. I wouldn't change 35. That's when I say I'm done. I wouldn't change 35 things for anybody If the Greek God came down.
Speaker 2:What that means is that he just needs a different person, absolutely.
Speaker 1:But this is my point. Ladies person, absolutely, but this is my point, ladies. If a man is asking you to change all these the shoes, the sweater, the big hat, things you can't even change it's time to move on. You'll find a guy that'll buy his own pumpkin sweater and wear it with you on Halloween. How about that one, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like that. Yeah, there's a lid for every pot.
Speaker 1:That's right. Yeah, we hope We'll let you know. Yeah, there is I think there is have you found your lid yet. Allison, yeah, you've been through quite a few lids. So when you find that lid, you can't wait to hear we're going to do a Dick of the Week.
Speaker 2:Yes, we are Very exciting, very exciting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're going to do a Dick of the Week and you'll hear you, never A shortage. If Allison found the lid to her pot yet You'll let them know.
Speaker 2:Listen, yeah, listen in ladies. I'll let you know, yeah.
Speaker 1:So that is our fishbowl for the week. We hope you enjoyed. We will continue to print out more questions and we will continue to try and help you, ladies out, with our advice and hopefully everybody can relate to all these questions. You know, with every question that's different. We've all had a man that didn't like what we wear. I'm sure We've all had a man that you know wouldn't let you look at his phone Like. I'm hoping that everybody can try to print out questions.
Speaker 2:That's relatable to the masses through eons of dating. So you know what? I don't know. If people remember, you can go on to Apple Podcasts or whatever and write us messages directly on whatever platform.
Speaker 1:Tell us your questions for 2025. Yeah, and we'll answer them directly. Alright, it sounds good. Have a good day and we'll answer them directly. All right, it sounds good. Have a good day and we will see you soon. Thank you for watching dating daycare. Bye.
