Dating Daycare
Welcome to "Dating Daycare," the ultimate safe space for women navigating the unpredictable world of modern dating. Join hosts Melissa Firpo and Allison Waterman as they dish out candid advice, share hilarious anecdotes, and tackle the toughest dating dilemmas faced by women today.
In a dating landscape filled with frogs disguised as princes and a jungle of jerks, Melissa and Allison offer a nurturing haven where women can laugh, learn, and empower each other to find love on their own terms. From ghosting to breadcrumbing, from disastrous first dates to navigating online profiles, "Dating Daycare" covers it all with wit, wisdom, and plenty of wine.
With Melissa's no-nonsense approach and Allison's comedic charm, each episode feels like a heart-to-heart chat with your best girlfriends over brunch. Whether you're swiping left or swiping right, "Dating Daycare" is your go-to guide for surviving and thriving in the wild world of modern romance.
So grab your favorite beverage, kick back, and join Melissa and Allison as they navigate the highs, lows, and hilarities of dating life. Because when it comes to matters of the heart, everyone could use a little TLC from "Dating Daycare.
Dating Daycare
The Ex-Files: Chronicles of a Child Support Dodger
Ever had an ex who turned simple co-parenting requests into emotional warfare? You're not alone.
Welcome back to a fresh season of Dating Daycare, where we're kicking things off with our listener-favorite "Dick of the Week" segment. This time, we're unpacking a story that perfectly captures the frustration of co-parenting with someone who views children's happiness as bargaining chips.
When growing kids need a new trampoline because they've outgrown their old one, most reasonable parents would split the cost, right? Not in this case. After spending over $25,000 on private schooling and camp fees, our host reached out to her ex with a simple request to contribute toward a $2,000 replacement trampoline. His response? "Maybe in December" – six months later, when snow would make the trampoline unusable. The kicker? This is the same man who previously held Christmas presents hostage unless his daughter visited his home, and who makes six figures with substantial bonuses while driving a luxury Range Rover.
We also dive into the wild world of prenuptial agreements, discussing an actual clause stipulating that a woman would lose $1,000 in alimony for every pound she gained over 128 pounds. This leads to a broader conversation about relationship power dynamics and how financial leverage is wielded in partnerships.
Have your own "Dick of the Week" story? We want to hear it! Share your experiences at datingdaycarepodcast@gmail.com or find us on Facebook. And stay tuned for next week's episode featuring a special guest who'll bring some educational insights to our dating discussions!
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Welcome to Dating Daycare, where we help you navigate through the jungle of jerks. Ladies and gents, we are back in our new season, raring to go, and today we're doing one of your favorites ladies, I know, I know. All my friends that listen and people always tell me they love our Dick of the Week. Yeah, you relate to it, right it's?
Speaker 2:relatable yeah, everyone can relate of having an encounter with a dick, just a dick. Dick move, yeah Right.
Speaker 1:You got stood up dick, or like he ghosted you dick Look at Cardi B.
Speaker 2:Or like he ghosted you dick, look at cardi b I kept saying this when we were talking earlier cardi b in her new song, yep says dick written all over it. Right, it's all over the uh tiktok.
Speaker 1:Right now is her song around father's day she's, they say she's gonna drop it anyway. So allison over here doesn't have dick of the week. God bless allison she saved. But we all know I win because I always have a dick of the week. My producer says you win, you win, I always win. Okay, the X. The X always gives us good content.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you're ready for dick of the week, let it rip, let it rip.
Speaker 1:So, my kids, I remember you from Hell's Kitchen, you do.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:You got it. That was a long time ago. You got a good memory. Okay, so we're on live also as we're doing our taping. Okay, so, dick of the Week, are you ready? Allison, I'm ready. Okay, so just got done paying for camp for the kids, which is a fortune.
Speaker 2:So it was like $25,000 or something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and which is a fortune like twenty five thousand dollars. Yeah, he paid half, though we'll give credit where credit's due, and I just got done paying for my daughter's half, which is well over ten thousand dollars. Okay then, private school that they've been going to since they're in pre-k, right? So okay, which he doesn't contribute anything towards fun.
Speaker 1:Okay, so now we're in like the thousands, right? Okay, so the kids are outside. Now they're nine and 10. Jagger will be oops, sorry, he'll be 10, whatever He'll be 10. My daughter just turned 11. They absolutely love their trampoline in the backyard. They go on it every day.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Especially when it's warm out, it gets nice out. Especially when it's warm out, it gets nice out. But I bought it a long time ago, so they need a replacement they need a replacement. It's like a six-foot trampoline. Now they're banging it. It's not safe anymore.
Speaker 2:They're banging into each other. Those scare the hell out of me. But it's netted in, it's got like an eight.
Speaker 1:They can't, nothing can happen, but they love it. And then when come in, it's way too small.
Speaker 1:Now yeah so, thank god, my girlfriend, who I'll promote on here, if you live in new york, she owns wood kingdom west and they just opens in lake grove. Please go to them for all your swing set and trampoline needs, um. So I go to her my girlfriend's over there I buy the trampoline. I get the receipt because god knows you know, I'm gonna ask him, I'm gonna ask the ex to help a little. So I get home, take a picture the receipt, because god knows you know, I'm going to ask him, I'm going to ask the ex to help a little. So I get home, take a picture of the receipt because God knows, we don't want him thinking I'm lying about how much?
Speaker 1:I'm trying to swindle money, right, okay, out of this moron Anyway. So I take a picture of the receipt, I send it to him. I say, listen, kids need a new trampoline. This other one's way too small, it's dangerous. Now they're going to get hurt. I went to Wood Kingdom. He knows our mutual friend. She gave me a discount, said here's the receipt, $2,000 with the discount. Can you please give me anything, something, anything towards the trampoline or half would be amazing, because I got just done paying for private school and camp. So of course he takes, the whole day goes by, I hear no response, of course it takes him, like the next day towards the evening, like more than 24 hours, to answer this complicated question, and he turns around, he goes, melissa, he goes. I'm not going to be able to help you with that, maybe in December for Christmas.
Speaker 2:Oh, but he still hasn't given your daughter her Christmas presents from last year, right?
Speaker 1:So wait, she got them for her birthday. Oh wow. So if anybody doesn't, let's add into the dick of the week. This past Christmas my ex-hole held my daughter's Christmas presents ransom at his house. My daughter is not comfortable going to his home and he said unless you come to my home you're not getting your gifts. So he gave her like two or three gifts and then held all the other gifts till. I'm assuming that's what she got for her birthday or she never got them at all, because I don't know you know necessarily what they were. I know he gave her like one thing that was obviously Christmasy. Anyway. So he's telling me.
Speaker 1:So I'm at work and like my father walks into the office and he's like, why do you look so perplexed? You know it was later on in the afternoon. I go. I'm not sure if he means he's going to give me half towards six months from now, in December, or he's talking about buying the trampoline in December, because I sent you the receipt it was already bought. So I text back. I go. Do you mean to tell me that you're going to give me half or something towards the trampoline six months from now, in December?
Speaker 2:Why six months? Well, he said, maybe around.
Speaker 1:Christmas I go. Forget that Christmas this year was a disaster. For what? Are you going to hold the trampoline ransom? You know what I mean. I'm like like so we're not going down that road again for Christmas, I go. Or do you mean that you want to get the trampoline for Christmas time in December? I go. The kids can't go on a trampoline December, january, february and March. What are you talking about? So I was like what do you mean? What are you talking about? And and he's like leave me alone, oh, okay.
Speaker 1:How old is this man? 56, 57. He was 68. Leave me alone. Leave me alone Like a child, like an 18-year-old. Leave me alone. Aw, he was having a moment.
Speaker 2:He was having a moment, I know.
Speaker 1:So no, he's not contributing. And I said don't worry, I'll make it happen as usual.
Speaker 2:Wow Dick of the week. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:Dick of the month?
Speaker 2:I mean Really Not $50?. I would love to have him on here one day, but he would never. Oh, he would never Because he would be ganged up on yeah.
Speaker 1:Never even worth having him on because he's just a dick.
Speaker 2:yep, so that's it, not even a hundred bucks towards the trampoline for the kids. I was suspecting some kind of barter like he would be, like I'll buy the kids some happy meals in exchange for some chicken nuggets in exchange.
Speaker 1:That's what I was expecting I can't, yeah, I can't, but you know he he's, he works for a huge company that's on. Nasdaq Like this isn't a man, that's you know working at Target? Yeah, he makes six figures and gets six-figure bonuses, not even $100 towards the trampoline.
Speaker 2:Imagine no, I think it's just to spite you Like I'm asking for a.
Speaker 1:Gucci bag.
Speaker 2:You know what I?
Speaker 1:mean, or Botox for my face. It's for the kids. He can't make it happen. He's strapped.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe with that new girlfriend of his. Yeah, probably.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or the new car.
Speaker 2:The Range Rover. Oh, that's it, the two three-year-old Range Rover. Isn't it essential?
Speaker 1:Stra year old range rover strapped him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, probably strapped him. Yeah, all right then. Yep, that's my dick of the week. Well, hopefully, you know, I have some dates lined up.
Speaker 1:Hopefully I'll have some hopefully you won't have some. We're hoping that you don't have.
Speaker 2:I like to entertain everyone like our producer says I win, I win.
Speaker 1:That would be me over here who wins dick of the week. I get a fresh one almost every week, congratulations. So now I've been leaving him alone, I leave him alone. Well good, I don't want to bother him.
Speaker 2:You're giving him what he wants.
Speaker 1:Yes, exactly, I aim to please. I aim to please yeah, all right, all right. Well, that is our Dick of the Week. We hope you enjoyed it. And you know what? Why don't you write in to us and tell us?
Speaker 2:We would love to hear your Dick of the Weeks yeah. Datingdaycarepodcast at Gmail yeah. Link in bio yeah.
Speaker 1:Or you can even TikTok me. Well, no, you really can't. You could Facebook us, because if you're not friends on TikTok you can't write Datingdaycarepodcast, you could do datingdaycarepod. You can't write Dating Daycare Podcast. You could do Dating Daycare Podcast. You come on the podcast or you could do Facebook Dating Daycare Podcast. Email Write in We'd love to hear your Dick of the Weeks, girl Dick of the.
Speaker 2:Weeks too. I was just gonna say fellas, you could.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:If you have a compelling story where a girl dared to expect that you pick up the check.
Speaker 1:Oh wait, and we have one more dick of the week too. No wait, remember that thing. I sent you from the TV.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I knew you were going to go wild over that, you know so. Do we have any 90-day fiancé fans here, do we?
Speaker 1:I know we do, we have to. I don't watch it, but I came across a clip of it and I sent it to Allison because I knew she'd go wild.
Speaker 2:The charming Turkish guy Sarper Is he Turkish.
Speaker 1:Yes, you looked it up, you could tell Well, I've watched it before. Like Middle Eastern.
Speaker 2:Yeah, those are a charming bunch. But yes, he has the guy with the crazy blue contacts and he has the girlfriend that has had a lot of aesthetic procedures would you say I love aesthetic procedures.
Speaker 1:I know I do too, but perhaps she's kind of you know, oh, we're done. Yeah, I haven't seen it.
Speaker 2:But both of them look a little like you know they spend a lot of time in the med spa. Okay, okay, okay. So he had a stipulation on the pre-nup that if she were to go one for every one pound, she goes over 128, she owes him $1,000.
Speaker 1:And I'm assuming you know what, and I knew she was going wild over that yeah, so for every pound she gains over 128, she was going wild over that. Yeah, so for every pound she gains over 128, she owes him 1,000. But you know what I have heard from lawyers? Yeah, that actually this was in a prenup, an actual An actual prenup, but it was.
Speaker 1:She loses $1,000 off the alimony if they get divorced. So at the end of the marriage, when they they're getting divorced, you get weighed in and for every pound you're over 128. It comes off your alimony. What?
Speaker 2:about him with his like, with every follicle of hair that you've lost, Like, what does he have to give her? Or his pot belly or his man boobs for every cup size of your man boobs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there you go, but he never wait, but the women don't have the upper hands. Yeah, come on, because the man has all the money and he's paying you out. I'm just saying that's why that works that way. This girl makeup is wild. Whose makeup Girl? I'm on my period. She's got a face for radio. Who made it Shut up my makeup's wild, why I thought I like underdid it today. Anywho, alright well, thank you for joining us, because we have to end our tape. We're doing our live at the same time.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening. We like when you come on. You guys are fun.
Speaker 1:We're having fun Season two, and next week we're going to have a special guest.
Speaker 2:So stay tuned.
Speaker 1:We're excited. We'll be educational.
Speaker 2:I hate it, Thanks guys.
