Dating Daycare
Welcome to "Dating Daycare," the ultimate safe space for women navigating the unpredictable world of modern dating. Join hosts Melissa Firpo and Allison Waterman as they dish out candid advice, share hilarious anecdotes, and tackle the toughest dating dilemmas faced by women today.
In a dating landscape filled with frogs disguised as princes and a jungle of jerks, Melissa and Allison offer a nurturing haven where women can laugh, learn, and empower each other to find love on their own terms. From ghosting to breadcrumbing, from disastrous first dates to navigating online profiles, "Dating Daycare" covers it all with wit, wisdom, and plenty of wine.
With Melissa's no-nonsense approach and Allison's comedic charm, each episode feels like a heart-to-heart chat with your best girlfriends over brunch. Whether you're swiping left or swiping right, "Dating Daycare" is your go-to guide for surviving and thriving in the wild world of modern romance.
So grab your favorite beverage, kick back, and join Melissa and Allison as they navigate the highs, lows, and hilarities of dating life. Because when it comes to matters of the heart, everyone could use a little TLC from "Dating Daycare.
Dating Daycare
The Fishbowl: Navigating a Relationship Where You Feel Invisible
Have you ever felt invisible in your own relationship? That gnawing feeling that your partner reserves all their kindness and attention for others while you're left wondering what happened to the person who once made you feel special?
In this raw and honest fishbowl session, we dive deep into a question that resonates with anyone who's ever felt their needs slipping to the bottom of their partner's priority list. The anonymous submission describes a relationship where affection has been replaced with indifference, where kindness flows freely to others but rarely makes its way home.
Boundaries emerge as the critical foundation for relationship happiness. We explore the practical steps of expressing your needs clearly, giving your partner space to respond, and the difficult but necessary decision to walk away when someone consistently shows they cannot or will not meet your emotional requirements. The hard truth remains: you cannot change someone's fundamental nature or make them love you the way you deserve to be loved.
The discussion extends to personal boundaries—like the host's choice not to date men with young children—and emphasizes that your boundaries aren't up for negotiation, regardless of what others might think. Your standards protect your happiness and set the framework for relationships that add value rather than drain it. As we memorably put it: "I am the table. So what are you bringing to my table?"
Ready to stop settling for relationships that leave you feeling empty? Listen now, and join our live sessions on TikTok where we're building a community of people committed to dating with dignity and clear boundaries. Your happiness isn't optional—it's essential.
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Welcome to Dating Daycare, where we but I today help you navigate through the jungle of jerks. Ladies and gents, welcome back. We're excited to have you and today we are doing a fishbowl while we are live on TikTok. That's our new thing. We go live when we're in production, so it's exciting. Follow us, follow me, healthy Chef One, join our podcast. We are going to help you through your summer and dating in the wild dating websites, everything. But today we're going to do our fishbowl. If you're not familiar with what that is, it is where we have a fishbowl full of questions, real life questions from you that I print out and we are going to take them out. We are going to read them. I'm going to answer them. Normally, my co-host is here, but she is not today, so it is only me. So they're all anonymous, but we are here to help. Okay. Question to help Okay. Question Anonymous Okay.
Speaker 1:My boyfriend doesn't even ask me how I am anymore. It's always about him and his needs. He literally does not care about me at all. I am just to fill space. He no longer treats me like he wants me. He no longer sends me nice messages out of the blue. He no longer sends me things that let me know he is thinking of me. It is like I don't even exist, but I know without a doubt he is being nice to others, he is engaging in nice ways with others. He saves all of his kindness and sweetness for the other women he encounters the problem. He used to be kind and sweet to me. He used to show me he cared and he thought of me. Now it's always about what can be done for him. He is always angry or frustrated at me, except at the moments he wants sexers trying to set up time for sex. I don't feel loved at all.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, anonymous person, this sounds like a big problem. It sounds like your needs are not being met and it's funny. We are going to have a guest on next month that I was just interviewing and we were talking about this last night. We're going to have a dating coach on and we were just discussing boundaries. You know what Boundaries are meant to be kept for you to be happy, right and for relationships to work. Now we've also had different episodes on attachment styles, so you can always look back and go into all those different attachment styles. They were explained by a psychologist. She was fabulous and she came on. This could have to do with attachment style, but let's push that to the side.
Speaker 1:If your needs are no longer being met, the first thing you need to do is you need to express them to your partner. You need to say I feel like I'm just a space holder here. You no longer send me nice texts out of the blue, you no longer let me know you're thinking of me, you're not engaging with me in the nice ways, and maybe you could give some examples of what they used to do that they are no longer doing now. After you do that, take a pause, give the person time to regroup, digest how you're feeling and then wait and see what they do. If they do not change, because obviously you're expressing your feelings that you're not happy and you're feeling sad. If they're not changing for you because these aren't hard things to change, of course. If you're like only call me once a week, come outside and paint my house, I mean, if you're asking for things that are outrageous, that's different. These are very simple things to show people in your daily life, especially in committed relationships, that you are loved, wanted, needed and just that they're happy to be around you.
Speaker 1:If they're not capable of doing that after you tell them you need to walk away. You need to set your boundaries. You need to say these are the things that I need to make me happy no-transcript, and you need to walk away. You are not. Ladies and gents and this goes for the men too you are not going to change a person. You are not going to change who they are. You're not going to change their attachment style because it is from childhood. You are not going to make them love you. You are not going to make them treat you better. Never going to make them love you. You are not going to make them treat you better. Never going to happen. So when somebody shows you who they are, you need to accept who they are. And then you have choices. If you're already in a committed relationship, like it sounds like this person is, you need to get up and go. You need to say my needs aren't being met, I'm really sorry, but this just isn't going to work for me. And if you're not capable of meeting my needs which I expressed to you, that I need to be happy then you know what. We need to go our separate ways. We're just not meant for each other.
Speaker 1:If you're in the beginning stages and not in a committed relationship. Yet you have two choices. You could either A walk away because it pisses you off. Right, let's say you're in the beginning stages of a relationship. Guy's hot and heavy calling you every day. You know doing the things he should be doing, making you feel loved and wanted and excited, and you know that he's interested in you. And then one day falls off the earth, disappears for a weekend or stops calling you every night. Or, you know, isn't giving you words of affirmation anymore, is short with you. I'm tired, I'm going to go to bed. You don't talk to him. You have one of two choices you can leave, or you could just back up and accept that is the person, who they are, that is the way they work, and you could just go out when they're available, hang out. But I wouldn't get into a full-fledged relationship with them if they're not giving you the things that make you happy. So that is my advice Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. And do not be scared, you know. Here's another thing Last thought.
Speaker 1:I always speak about this on the podcast. I have a boundary, whether you know it, whether you're new or you're old here, my boundary is I won't date a man with young children. That is my boundary. I have my reasons for it. I've discussed it. I'm not going to get into it in this episode. But I have young children. My children are turning 10 and 11, but I will not date a man with a 10 and 11 year old. That is my boundary. People will say, oh my God, that's crazy. How can you have a boundary like that? You have young kids. What about the guy that has to deal with your young kids? I know all this. If the guy doesn't want to deal with my young kids, you're free to go. You don't have to date me. You don't have to entertain me. But I'm not dating you with young kids. It's not what I want my kids around. It's not what I want to get into. I've discussed my reasons for it, discussed my reasons for it, but that's my boundary. I don't care if anybody calls me crazy. People could call me crazy, just like your boundary.
Speaker 1:If you need somebody to call you every day and have constant communication and you need somebody to, you know, compliment you or whatever it is you need, you need to state that and keep your boundary. And if the person isn't capable of doing that, you need to walk away. Don't let them make you feel like, oh, you're being mean, or I was really busy and you're being too much, or you're too needy, or don't let them Shape-shift your boundaries Because you're not going to be happy in the end. You're going to get Sad, you're going to get resentful. You're gonna get sad, you're gonna get resentful, you're gonna try and change it and none of it's gonna work and it's gonna blow up in flames. So, boundaries. That is our fishbowl for today.
Speaker 1:If you have any questions, any comments, let me take a look. What a kid Jim K. I love this. What do you have to offer in a relationship? I have plenty to offer in a relationship. I have good morals, I have good values, I think I have a great family I have, I'm successful, I'm fun to be with, I have a great vibe, I have lots of great friends to offer. I just I have everything according to me Now.
Speaker 1:But here's the thing I don't like when men say what do you have to offer in a relationship? When you meet somebody, you should see what they have to offer and if you like what they have to offer and their boundaries and their morals and their standards and their family life, then you should move forward with them. But I'm completely self-sufficient. I am the table. What do you bring to the table? I am the table. So what are you bringing to my table? My table's steady, ah, thank you so much, brian Kelly.
Speaker 1:He says I'm beautiful also. But you know what, brian, if you say that to an answer, they're going to be like oh you're just, you know all about looks and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I never like to add that in. But I'm an attractive woman. I look good on your arm, it's a plus. Yeah, you can't win with that question, brian. Brian's saying but you're beautiful also, but you know what. You say that and then people are like ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Anyhow, all right. Well, thank you for joining us and thank you for our TikTok fans joining us, and I will see you again soon. Goodbye.
